Every single time I go to Poland it rains, hails, snows, sleets, and there is just generally shit weather. And I've been about 6 or 7 times, so this sucks. But I'm not about to let some frigid rain get in the way of eating good Polish food. Any trip to Poland requires a cow-like stomach, because the food is delish, and the eatsies are plentiful. I think I ate about 5 meals a day on my last trip to Krakow, because I liked everything so much (but also because it was snowing and it was too cold to do too much else).
Anyway, more to the point: I was in Poland recently to visit family for a 30th wedding anniversary. There was much merriment, and of course, not speaking very much Polish, I took comfort in my war-hero-killingly strong vodka drink, and copious amounts of marinated pork.
22 of us squeezed into the dining room, and the eating commenced at 4pm. 25 minutes later, after a starter, salad, main meal, and snacks, I sat back satisfied, holding my belly so I didn't explode. But no! there was more food coming! Everyone continued to eat until NINE PM! thats five hours of continuous eating. No breaks. I was amazed. I also couldn't move for the next day. The only downside was that at the time of farewells, after 3 kisses from each family member, I was accosted by one wife-of-an-uncle who went in for the kiss. . . ON MY LIPS. OH HELL NO. I saw it coming, and I tried to proffer my cheek instead, but she grabbed my face and planted a nasty wet smooch on my innocent, previously polish-aunty-untouched lips. I was so sad. My insightful fiance insisted that she was probably a hidden lesbian and had been waiting all her life to kiss a nice brown girl like me. Tragic.
In order that you too may enjoy the fun and oft-unintelligible singing, I offer you, the reader, a sneak peak into post-communist Polish life:
