Jeg elsker Norge!

So, I just returned from a trip to Norway, and I have 3 things to say.

1) Norway is very, very, very expensive
2) Norway is like a large village
3) Norwegians love to party

My favorite word learned during this trip was "harry" - pronounced hurr-eh - which basically denotes tastelessness, tackiness, corniness, or a combination of all three. For example:
Lillestrom is the most harry town in Norway.
Nips (bric-a-brac/tiny statues/replicas) are harry.
The 80's are SO harry.
Norwegians also consider American christmas decorations to be the most harry thing in the world, although it is interesting to note that Norway is the most similar country to America in Europe.

There wasn't much to see in Oslo... I think I briefly passed by the King's residence, which looked like ex-WesPres Dougie B's house, with a few extra guards. The social security system is great, but taxes are a whopping 14% in stores - the government also levies extra taxes on sugar, alcohol, and tobacco - and income tax hovers around 40-50%!!! Around 20% of the population indulges in snus (snooss), small packets of tobacco that you stick under your upper lip. I was visiting a friend, who took me to all the right places, and I had an amazing time. Everyone I met was really hospitable and friendly (and in Norwegian style, very, very direct) and we managed to have some of them buy us (the very expensive) drinks when we went out. I especially enjoyed the super-fresh air, the abundance of natural life at the beach (having not been destroyed by pollution) and probably the most delicious potato I've ever eaten in my life. I also had an extremely bizarre encounter in my life at a pub in Tonsberg, the oldest city in Norway. A couple of guys bought us drinks, and after a round of introductions one of them plonked down next to me (wearing a yankees jacket, actually) and proudly announced: "my friends and I, we carry napalm." At first I thought he was just kidding, so I ignored him, but about 20 minutes later he was like.... "I got napalm... you know napalm?" YES I know napalm!!! Then he goes - "I wanna be a suicide bomber. Are you a suicide bomber?" Of course by now I'm super uncomfortable so I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, where I relayed the bizarreness to my friend, who laughed, and explained that this was normal. Normal how?? Well, apparently in the wake of the furor caused by the Danish cartoons - which the Norwegian papers also printed but basically got away with - jokes about bombing became commonplace and nothing to raise one's eyebrow at (could Norwegian humor be worse than British humor?!) "That's his way of flirting with you!" my friend said. I personally thought it had racist undertones, but she assured me that this was not so. Aside from this weirdness, I noticed that alot of people have some strange things going on with their bodies in Norway. Check this. My friend has two toenails on her little toe, her sister was born with a hole in the middle of her body (this is hard to explain so I'll just skip it), her friend has an extra kidney.... and here's the kicker. We were sitting around a table playing Kings, an American drinking game which I proudly introduced and which they loved, and one of the girls was like... "wanna see a party trick?" and opened her mouth only to reveal TWO UVULAS! NO WAY!!!!!!

On the whole I quite enjoyed my first foray into Scandinavia, and I definitely learned a lot (fun fact: there is surveillance in public bathrooms in Oslo, and if there is no surveillance there are blue lights installed so that junkies cannot find their veins.)
I'm now back for the glorious British summer. We managed to make it to Wimbledon last week and watch Bartoli and Ancic, and I'm hoping to go to the races soon, but not before I'm back in Berlin and Poland and eating oscipek, the best cheese in the world.